Departing Me

Behind the lazy clouds lie a shining moon,
So bright is its glow that no peasant shall be starved of light,
So momentous is its shape that no stranger will be lost,
Moon oh moon,
Send your stars to earth,
For where your light does not touch,
Where your presence cannot be felt,
Lies darkness where souls collide,

Such as the savior of night,
Let your stars be the savior of hearts,
So deep and so dampened the faiths,
Like a painter lost of vision,
A singer lost of depth,
Stuck where the world sees red and blue,

Angels leave in flurry dust,
Their feathers float the air like silent deaths,
As quiet comes in hopes of better time,
Hearts cry at every breath,
Hopes and dreams exhaled,
Only left are we, us and ourselves,

Soon you shall leave,
So shall the bright you bring,
For when the time is right,
The place you hold you shall give,
A different light will come,
One with glaring sun but not as bright,
Gone is not only light,
With light are our desires to take flight

Each of us a moon ourselves,
Vanish will be my days,
In memory and in memory will it remain,
What is left will be replaced,
And so in time all shall heal,
And so there will be no more we, no more we,
What is once we,
Will be a forgotten part of me.

Un-love : Closure

So we put on masks. we become someone else. we disguise ourselves emotionally, take the original, pack it neatly in a box and store it in some dark corner we wont remember. And we go on happily with life wearing our new masks. And we stay happy. Until of course one day, we get bored with the masks we wear and promptly decide to look for something more refreshing. The cycle then begins. We switch and switch and switch until one day we forget who we are. We no longer remember where we stored our original selves. We become lost. We become insecure. We eat ice cream. No..... it gets worst. We look for 'love'. We look for someone to change, someone to satisfy our pygmylion complex. Then we look for someone who can bring to reality our dreams. We look for someone to read our minds and know what want and give it to us even though our deepest desires evades our conscious self. We look for someone to look up to us as heroes, their saviors. We look for emotional support, attention and a cure to our insecurities. We look for all of the stated and conveniently package it into a tidy 4 letter word.

Such an irony when all that we look for, in contradiction, puts us in a position we least want to be....emotionally threatened. I have been holding on to the finish of this 3 part hard-to-understand essay for the past few weeks and I have discovered new light to the dilemma I was in when I started typing the the title of 'Un-love'. I guess at some point in life, we all have to go through being 'emotionally threatened'. I guess in some point in life, we all have insecurities. We live in a world where not being insecure is just a fable. The best we can do is to distract ourselves to the point that we forget the worst of ourselves or our lives. But then again, you as the reader already know that. You have already been in and out of love and you have had your share of broken hearts and fallen tear drops.

Maybe it's the way I was brought up. Maybe I spent too much time alone. Or maybe I'm a super emotionally sensitive cancerian. Whatever it is, I feel that there is no such thing as un-love. You cant control how you feel. The best you can do is to make the best out of it or do whatever you can to influence it. When you're between the lines of love and infatuation, there isn't really anyway get rid the feeling. The only solution: to forget and never remember. But seriously, that not gonna make things better. We may forget but the memory stays in our unconscious self. And sooner or later, make us bitter and angry. My advise.....get closure. Whatever it is that you feel unhappy about, especially on the topic of love....so get closure. Complete the feeling and then... you will be truly happy.