Signaphobia

Life is getting expensive. That's not an assumption, that's a fact. It's a fact that the gas prices are rising every year but our cars are not getting any more efficient. It's a fact we are getting peanuts for our pay and still the government robs part of it from us. And it's also a fact that shuet char at the local tai pai tong used to be 30sen but now costs 50sen just because the lou sai claims "Gas to boil water more expensive edi....so meh hei kailor..tiu" and "sor hai garberman tax me kau kau lar". And because I no longer have enough peanuts to afford shuet char let alone char kuey teow, I was forced to cook my own lunches and thus has brought me to another ok KL's reality. You cannot be soft-hearted in KL. Yes, I have learnt that being a softy in KL has dire consequences and I have first handedly experienced how disaster-ly those consequences can become. And so the story goes.

Because I was forced to cook my own lunches, I was forced to get my lazy butt up on a saturday morning to go shopping at my local K4 outlet. And whilst I had gotten most of what I need and was forking out what kua chis I have left to the cashier, I was approached my this chinese bloke in his 30's, apparently a sales representative for HL bank. He starting pitching away and normally I'd put on my lansi face, throw him a casual half smile and with a wave of my hand, just walk off. But this guy was different. He was not pitching about the lifetime annual waiver or even on the free gifts. No, he had to go and tell me, with the eyes and look akin to Puss the Cat, that he wasn't meeting his given quotation for the day. He had to go and imply with a certain desperation that his family of 10 children was gonna starve to death if I'd hadn't given him my application. It was as though he had hit my weak spot and the next thing I know, I was sitting at a desk meant for midgets, exposing to him my life's details. BIG MISTAKE.

As soon as I was about finish up and leave, thinking I'd had done a good deed of some sort, I was approached by another chinese bloke, talking to me as though he was my long lost twin brother. "Leng chai, chim mai RHB ge lar". I 'tried' to politely decline and this is when hell broke loose. Before I could even get my arse off the midget chair, I was surrounded. "Sir, UOB free for live", "Lou Said, HSBC upgrade to Gold Card mou", "Citibank, Citibank mali mali". I recalled then, a friend once shared with me his backpacking trip to India and one of his advice he repeated over and over again was "NEVER GIVE TO THE CHILDREN". As he had once given a beggar child at the airport 100 rupees and the next thing he knew he was surrounded by hundreds of them. To hell with India, just go to K4 Sri Petaling and 'donate' your signature and you'd be so up to your neck with loan shark representatives, it will 'phobialize' you for good. Yes. I am now down with 'Signaphobia'. I cannot sign on any one piece of paper without the fear of being mobbed.