The Date - Part 5: The Beach.
Our feet sanked into the perfect white sands and as the music of waves played to our ears, the wind accompanying by lightly touching our faces. It was paradise. It was exactly how I'd pictured it in my mind. She couldn't stop smiling. She tried very hard but I could see that she had a hard time refraining from letting the the child beneath her from coming loose. She was happy, truly happy, free from the problems of fucked up VOIP CTI systems, free from the little amount she had in her bank account, free from her persistantly pestering ex-boyfriend and most importantly, free from the role she had to play in life. For the six months, 2 weeks, 12 days and 15 hours that I have came to know her, this was the first time I felt and saw the euphoric side of her. She was splashing around the shallow waters with her shoes off, one hand holding a stick of Wall's ice-cream we acquired from a kedai runcit earlier, the other trying invainly to scoop droplets of water on to me. I just stood there, half smiling, half suckling on the ice cream letting it melt in my mouth. Looking at her and I thought to myself "Mission Accomplished". This James Bond would have died smiling right there and then with no regrets. We stared at the stars littered across the clear skies. We played with the soft white sands, playfully trying to bury each other's feet. We walked the beach as though we were a couple long separated by the cruel society and finally reunited. Oh, how terrible was the urge to reach forth and wrap her palm around my fingers. Oh, how it was a torture to refrain from telling her the confines of my little heart. I would have readily betrayed all my principles against dating a colleague. At the heat of the moment, I could have abandoned everything I so strongly believed for her. I could have sent my career on a downhill course for kingdom come, disowned all my friends, shoved away my family and gave up my love for cars....yes, gave up my love for cars in exchange for her presence in my life. Right in front of me was truly someone with actual breasts and vagina (refer to Car & Women) that I could duly call my wife and marry. I have many times dreamt about our life together. How I'd make love to her eyes when we were in bed. How I'd wake up with her in my arms savoring her sleeping beauty. How'd her impatience would always get us into an argument and how we'd make up after each fight. We'd always arrive at wedding dinners when dessert was starting to be served with her tendency to be late. She'd start preparing in the wee hours of the am and would still be undecided on which hair clip to wear at the late pm and I'd be pestering her to no end given my have-to-be-on-time attitude. She would forget to turn off her headlights and I'd end up coming to her rescue. It was till opposite attracts. It was till death to us part. It was a perfect life. 
Then suddenly the stadium lights illuminating the beach blacked out and I was hyperspaced back to reality. The white sands turned dark and the only thing that kept surrounding vision possibile was the feint light from the stars and the moon. Apparently the Gods of Heaven decided that my time with her was up and decided send me a hint. It was really dark and we were a 100km from home. I feared for her safety so after a few more steps trudging through the now dark sand, I suggested we leave. She nodded obediently. I reached into my pockets and pulled out my mobile. Against the gloomy surrounding, the bright white screen read 12.16AM. We had come from afar, abandoned civilization and dangerously escaped the murderous midnight traffic, and all the Gods decided to give me was 15 minutes? I should have sold my soul to the devil. At least he could've given me 30. And so I proceeded to escort my hopes and dreams back to the car and was now on a mission to get us home in one piece. And so began our journey from eternal happiness back to the realms from which we came. The two hour journey was indeed tiring. It was already an early Wednesday morning and we'd soon need to attend to our contractual obligations with HP in a few hours time. I was certain we'd showed up dead-fish-faced lingering to our respective sites like thousand year old zombies high on marijuana. But I was consumed in light hearted-ness. I didn't care. For all that mattered to me, I was already getting more than I had hoped for and a little sacrifice of shut-eye time and overnight acne seemed, at that moment, minor. We resumed the pattern that we have seemed accustomed to on long drives, silently listening to the voices of my JVC speakers, occasional meaningless chats, me stealing glances at her, and her slapping my hand every time the speedo touched a 100 as a reminder to contain the speed freak within me. She was the older one of the both of us and with all the little actions and gestures she'd make, she'd give me a strong sense of maternal concern. Maybe it's just that that was lacking in my life. Maybe it was the thought of having someone taking a certain interest of my well being. Or maybe it was just because she didn't wanted to be admitted into ICU in the wee hours of a Wednesday morning. But whatever it was, it sure made me feel, somewhat close to complete. To have quoted Jerry McGuire now would have been an exaggeration. But I wouldn't be afraid to admit that the feeling that she casted on me did seem as though it made the void in my life smaller. As I dropped her off back at her place, she turned back while she was closing the door and I instinctively said that I'll sms her when I got home. She nodded in agreement and with a clunk, closed the door and hurried her little self in back into her little house. With a short wave of goodbye, the night was over. As I lie in bed reminiscing back to the story of the night, I cannot help but let my mind wander to the infinite scenarios of 'what ifs'. What if I took hold of her hand? What if I really expressed my most deepest emotions? What if we kissed? I was now feeling the after effects of infatuation. I was getting a hang over from being love drunk. I was getting the at-the-end-of-a-dreamy-vacation-and-need-to-go-back-to-work-tomorrow disdain. I was empty....again. I was being greedy. I was given a taste of honey and now I'm left wanting the freaking bee hive. I closed my eyes in an effort to escape and promptly told myself in certainty; whatever the future holds destined for me, this will certainly be one of the sweetest highlights of my 2007. And this is also why it is so painful.
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